Why I Choose to Love my Husband Above our Children

My husband and I celebrated SIX years of our crazy love.

My idea of celebrating: an evening with Netflix because I am a homebody at heart.

But not before putting a load of laundry in, right? I was until my love caught me off guard…

I heard a familiar song over the basement speaker. 

My husband began playing the song I had walked down the aisle to - with a single rose in hand. 

me? I had nothing.


He arranged for my sister-in-law to watch the boys.

but Mrs. Homebody questioned the plans and I tried to reassure my husband that we were fine celebrating AT HOME with the kids. We can put them to bed early.

  His response, “You have 10 minutes and we are leaving.”

That evening, it hit me.

we had been abusing "our time." The time that is meant to strengthen us. bring us back together in the midst of every day life of work and parenting.

Our marriage had been placed on the back burner for whenever convenient.

That Night I became more aware of:

  • Seeing that my husband is a top priority. Being submissive to his needs.

  • How essential it is to give and show affection towards my husband (especially around our children).

  • Cultivating my marriage (in Christ) because this ultimately sets the tone in the household.

Ephesians 5:22-23 states to "submit yourselves onto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife, even as Christ is the head of the church..." 

And husbands are to mirror a love for their wives just as Christ has for the church.

When Jesus calls wives to be submissive, that is not to be considered a weakness but rather meekness. Defined as being humble or righteous: King David, Paul the Apostle, Moses and Jesus Christ himself were all described as being "meek." Although, it is a rare virtue among those in an aggressive and over-bearing world, the Lord says, "blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." Matthew 5:5 



as a helper to our partners, our Responsibilities are:

  • meekness

  • tender-hearted

  • loyalty

  • respectful

  • Compassionate

  • and careful not to let the funny bone deteriorate,

    I am doing my best. Over the years, I can see where my husband may feel devalued while having battled for my attention and/or affection.

    I truly believe that a marriage sets the tone in the household. When we disagree, children can sense the tension and unfortunately, converts into hostile parenting. 


Ultimately, children perceive guardians as primary role models.

my mannerisms and the respect I show towards my husband (and vice versa) is how they will ultimately treat others, possibly their future spouse. I hope that they will turn to prayer to help sustain both their marriage and families.

This is why I choose to love my husband above my children; so that they may respect, trust and see our love as Mighty and intimate as Christ's love for the church.

As a mother, extend a hand of guidance, and prepare them for the challenging road ahead.

And as a wife, lend your obedient ear, faithful hands and steadfast heart to the one He created for you.

After all, you are on the same team.




Amy is a devoted wife and mother with a passion for connecting with women in all walks of life. Her blog, The Gilded Wife encourages and empowers women to live a full, free, and fierce life according to God's word. Her joy is found in the Lord and gives all the glory to Him. She enjoys traveling, is a lover of dark chocolate, and hopes to become a foster parent one day.