Why I Choose to Love my Husband Above our Children

My husband and I celebrated SIX years of our crazy love.

I was already planning an evening with Netflix and a cup of hot tea - yes, tea. (Green or black tea with a splash of honey is my jam.

While attempting to fold laundry and organize the basement, ( all while toys were being launched across the room) I heard a familiar song over the speakers. My husband had synced his phone to the basement radio to play the song I had walked down the aisle to. He even had a single rose in hand. 

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I couldn't believe it.

He arranged for my sister-in-law to watch the boys; so off we went to celebrate, just him and I. 

  

That evening, it occurred to me that we had been abusing "our time." The time that is meant to strengthen us. Our marriage had been placed on the back burner for whenever convenient. That time couples require to mature as a spouse and a parent.

Becoming a wife also comes much responsibility.

Ephesians 5:22-23 states to "submit yourselves onto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife, even as Christ is the head of the church..." 

And husbands are to mirror a love for their wives just as Christ has for the church. When Jesus calls wives to be submissive, that is not to be considered a weakness but rather meekness. Defined as being humble or righteous: King David, Paul the Apostle, Moses and Jesus Christ himself were all described as being "meek." Although, it is a rare virtue among those in an aggressive and over-bearing world, the Lord says, "blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." Matthew 5:5 

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As I strive to become better at my wifely duties: to be meek, obedient, tender-hearted, loyal, respectful, kind, and careful not to let my funny bone deteriorate, I am simply doing my best. Over the years, I can see where my husband may feel devalued while having battled for my attention and/or affection. I truly believe that a marriage sets the tone in the household. When we disagree, our children can sense the tension and unfortunately, converts into hostile parenting. 

 

Ultimately, our children perceive us as primary role models. How I speak, my mannerisms and the respect I show towards my husband (and vice versa) is how they will ultimately treat others, possibly their future spouse. I hope that they will turn to prayer to help sustain both their marriage and families.

This is why I choose to love my husband above my children; so that they may respect, trust and see our love as mighty and intimate as Christ's love for the church.

As a mother, continue to extend a hand of guidance, love and prepare them for the challenging road ahead. And as a wife, lend your obedient ear, faithful hands and steadfast heart to the one He created for you. After all, you are on the same team.

 

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BIOGRAPHY

Amy is a devoted wife and mother with a passion for connecting with women in all walks of life. Her blog, The Gilded Wife encourages and empowers women to live a full, free, and fierce life according to God's word. Her joy is found in the Lord and gives all the glory to Him. She enjoys traveling, is a lover of dark chocolate, and hopes to become a foster parent one day. 

 

How My Faith Was Influenced By The Media

With a year of blogging under my belt, I feel that I've only skimmed the surface. I wanted to be sure that I was accomplishing the very reason why I started this blog...

I was an introvert-turned-partially-extrovert who had built a tribe, began to peel back a layer or two for those who wanted to hear my heart, and established a deeper relationship with Jesus. If one post touched one reader - for the better - or sparked a desire for a personal relationship with the Lord then I have succeeded.

A year ago, I began this blog with a broken heart. I was facing a struggle Inever imagined would have affected me as profoundly as it did. My trust in the Lord was under fire and I was left in a tailspin that wanted little to do with God.

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Tears shed, endless questioning and disbelief left me emotionally paralyzed on why someone I loved dearly could walk away.

Sure enough anger, sadness, betrayal, frustration arrived uninvited and set up shop in my heart. I was caught off-guard with what God was allowing to happen. 

"God, I'm a good person, so why did you allow this? Why me?"

Sound familiar?

Sure, I'm a good person but by who's standards, mine or His?

In the beginning of this hardship, this movie gave me some clarity. I had been focusing on all the wrong things and asking the wrong questions. I watched some of the movie and had to walk away. And this time, I allowed a those countless messages from books, television, and others harden my heart towards those I thought were the enemy. 

 

(When you experience heartache, you search. Search for something, anything - to fill that broken void. That's what I did. Because I wasn't ready to face reality, I was seeking answers from where I typically look first, the media, in hopes I would find "a sign." I had never googled, researched, and read SO many books than I had during that season of my life. Unfortunately, I was left with more questions than before I began my conquest to resolution...)

 

And after many days and tear-filled nights, I dropped to my knees with heart bursting with lies from the enemy. And I prayed.

God wasn't deliberately hurting me or found joy in my pain. He IS a God of love, salvation, mercy and forgiveness.

I had to take a step back and reevaluate my heart, and when I did, The War Room was waiting. 

 

The War Room Movie left a resilient and new found love in my heart. The extraordinary cast would use His word as an active weapon against the enemy, because THAT IS WHO WE ARE FIGHTING, not each other. 

After having watched War Room numerous times, I had several takeaways and thoughts stirring that helped transform my heart for Christ:

  • A prayer journal and wall. If I'm not praying for my family, who is? Keeping a prayer journal and/or wall will track victories and keep my heart from going astray. Focus on His promises.

  • Do I trust God? When I was disheartened, I sought worldly answers because I was desperately seeking comfort and peace. Do not look to things of this world. The Lord says, "For everything, there is a season." There will be tears and joy...He does make everything beautiful in it's own time. So, I will choose to trust that this is a season. I choose to become stronger from this trial and trust His faithfulness, because there is beauty in brokenness.

  • "I am His before I am yours." The wife in the movie spoke this to her husband after his repentance of his past mistakes. He went on to ask her, "Why? Why would you still love and stay with me after how I treated you? And this was her response (ALLL THE HEARTS!) Isn't this how we should approach every situation? Seeking Him. Trusting Him. Loving Him before all things. Our joy cannot come from people, (media) or things because like me, you will be left discouraged. Like the woman in the movie proclaims proudly, "My joy is found in Jesus!"

 

Don't be discouraged, friends. Through trying times, remember to seek Him over all things. Be quick to forgive as Christ forgave us

 

He HEARS you and IS working. 

 

 

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How One Woman Is Fighting For Freedom

January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month. It is a horrific crime that some have heard of but is hardly spoken of today. I came across Kelly's Instagram page, then her Etsy Shop and quickly became inspired by her cause, to end modern day slavery. Here is Kelly's testimony and more about Speak Justice Design Co. 

 

For years, human trafficking pulled heavily on my heart, but I didn't know what to do. Around 30 million people are enslaved around the world, and many of those people are in sex slavery. Just a few years ago, you didn’t hear much about sex trafficking, and most of us didn’t know much about how it was happening, especially in the U.S. There still aren’t solid statistics that accurately represent how many people are being trafficked because it’s such a difficult crime to track and stop. This global industry is making billions off of the innocence of the vulnerable. The average person trafficked into the sex trade is 12 years old. 12 years old.

 

 

It's a huge, dark, sickening problem, and I felt totally defeated whenever I thought about it. I didn't have much money to donate or much time to volunteer, so I just sat on God's call on my heart. I pushed it aside.
 

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When I started my design business five years ago, I never imagined that God would use it as a vessel for his mission for me. I did contract design work for businesses and churches for a few years, and then I decided to open an Etsy shop to have a better outlet for doing the kind of design work that I love. During all that time, my business felt incomplete. I felt like it was supposed to be more, to mean more, but I didn’t know what.

 

Less than a year after opening my shop, God gave me the vision to use my work to take a stand. I had read another article about trafficking and was thinking, what can I do? How can I find a way to give? And God prompted, give your business away. Take whatever small reach and resources you have and leverage them for those with no voice. I knew in that frenzied, giddy night of brainstorming and praying that God had lined up everything -- my business, my Etsy shop, my social media platforms -- so that I would be ready when he tugged on my heart again. Here was the meaning. Here was the divine purpose.

 

I rebranded my business four months later to Speak Justice Design Co., and started donating from every sale to The Exodus Road, an organization that helps find, rescue, and restore people who are trapped in slavery. For every $10 that is spent in our shop, we donate $3. In the six months since the launch, we’ve raised almost $1,000 for rescue. That’s enough to pay for four weeks of investigations, or transitional care for nine survivors after a raid. I have never loved my work so much as I do now that I am helping fight for freedom.

 

I know that not everyone has the same calling, which is why Speak Justice is about living intentionally at home in the world. That includes ending slavery. That includes purposeful motherhood. That includes serving your community and speaking up for the marginalized. Oh man, it includes so many good things! I want to live intentionally and inspire others to be intentional in whatever they do. I’m passionate about God’s mission for me, and I want to help others discover their mission too! You don’t have to waste any more time wondering what that meaning is you’re looking for. God has a call for your life right now.

 

It's still a struggle because I have to balance this passion with my other calls to serve my family (my pastor hubby and two sweet and spunky boys, 3 and 1) and the church. Sometimes I feel like God has given me more missions than what I can accomplish. But I do my best to trust him with that and keep working. To pursue His idea of success, not mine. To just be obedient to the call and let him fill in the rest. Because it’s really his mission, after all.

 

CONNECT WITH KELLY

WEBSITE | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | SHOP

More about Kelly

Kelly is an optimist, a sensitive heart, quiet by nature and hopelessly forgetful. Her happy places are in meaningful relationships, pour-your-heart-out worship, autumn in the mountains and anything with her boys. She lives in Colorado Springs with her husband, Josh, and their two very social and animated boys, who are 3 and 1. She serves in student ministry with her husband and is the founder of Speak Justice Design Co.

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What I Will NOT Do in the New Year

This post may contain affiliate links.

 

We are coming to a close on the first week of a new beginning and, I enjoyed reading everyone's goals for the new year! For me, I finally jotted down my aspirations for a fuller, healthier, and happier new year!

And as we know, with a new year comes change: better health, more organization, making wiser choices, etc...

 

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I've never been one to make a new year's resolution. I believe in goal setting and if I'm dissatisfied with my lifestyle, I simply won't wait until the new year to make necessary changes.

Having said that, I've created a list featuring what I know I will NOT do in the New Year:

 

  • DIET. I believe in being more aware of a healthier lifestyle: mind, body and soul - healthy eating habits, A fitness routine, and taking a mini-hiatus. Food is meant for healing and MAINTAINING our health - all in moderation. 

  • DRAMA. There is enough hurt, sadness, depression, and disease daily around the world. I would much rather spend time resolving those issues that will make the world a little brighter, versus contributing to those matters that develop a lingering dark cloud. Choose to focus on a resolution rather than conflict.

  • WORRY. For the past several years, I have fallen victim to this trap. Worrying about my marriage, being a great mother, our finances...it is a thief of joy! It has diminished my faith as well as my emotional and physical self. The Lord asks, "why do you have little faith..."

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So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (NLT)

MY FAVORITE VERSE

  • COMPARE. Another thief of joy. Whether its my lifestyle, my children, or my relationship with the Lord, others' opinions shouldn't affect me nor should i reciprocate with judgement. No one story is identical to another. Keep in mind that we must guard our hearts, for with comparing comes envy, selfishness and jealousy. Embrace all you possess and give thanks to Him!

  • BE STILL. Although I have three active boys (husband included), I will continue to have my still moments with God- That will never change. I'm speaking in regards to exploring and remaining active with my family, sightseeing and experiencing all that will create invaluable memories. 

 

There is so much to look forward to with this past year behind us and a year ahead filled with opportunities, and endless goals. I cannot wait to witness what the Lord has planned for you!

 

Why We Must Listen Love Repeat - Part 2

In case you missed Part 1 of Listen Love Repeat, click here to get caught up ;) 

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Karen shares so many inspiring tips, personal stories, scripture and simple ways to show kindness throughout your community. Here are a few ways to live more intentionally and kind right where you are:

  • Practice hospitality. There was a point made in the book that said, "we can lead with our hearts and bless with our homes." Last month, I had hosted a small gathering (thrown together last-minute) and invited our neighbors. It was a wonderful time. A couple days later, my neighbor had seen, stopped and thanked me for having our get together. Turns out, he had been having a tough week with work and needed a breather. Our possessions, our homes are meant to be utilized for ministry and at times, a haven for someone when we least expect.

  • Connect with the lonely and unloved. What better time to be reminded of this than with the holiday season quickly approaching. Adopt the concept of "living with an open door policy." We should be ministering to those who society dismisses. We were created to live for community and for each other. Turn on your feeling barometer and reach out!

  • Love the unloveable. You know who I'm referring to and someone had to of popped into your mind. Think about it, Jesus continued to love those who betrayed, slandered, mocked, and despised him. Only love and kindness can melt the icy heart. Seek out someone today who would least expect a kind word or an act of gratitude. Remember, slow and steady.

  • Embrace family. I have written on a sticky note next to my nightstand, "If you aren't praying for your family, then who is?" Accept and embrace every flaw, every imperfection of the people who loved you from day one and continue to do so. My most cherished and vivid memories growing up were with family. The love of family is the closest form of endearment to God's love we will ever feel on Earth; because they are a gift from above. Celebrate those dear to you not just on special occasions but every day.

  • Scatter kindness. If your loved ones could describe you in one word, what would it be? Beautiful? Caring? Sweet? Funny? Although I fall short at times, I strive to be kind. I couldn't tell you what I have said or done for someone, but I can remember exactly how they felt. When we scatter kindness where ever we go, the blessing comes back ten fold. Our job is to show others God's grace through kindness. Once we have done our job, the rest is in God's hands.

 

My prayer for you is that these words will resonate with you as they have with me. Not too often do books like Listen Love Repeat change the way I think or influence me to take action.   

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**I was selected as a book launch team member for Listen, Love Repeat. All views and opinions are my own.**