With a year of blogging under my belt, I feel that I've only skimmed the surface. I wanted to be sure that I was accomplishing the very reason why I started this blog...
I was an introvert-turned-partially-extrovert who had built a tribe, began to peel back a layer or two for those who wanted to hear my heart, and established a deeper relationship with Jesus. If one post touched one reader - for the better - or sparked a desire for a personal relationship with the Lord then I have succeeded.
A year ago, I began this blog with a broken heart. I was facing a struggle Inever imagined would have affected me as profoundly as it did. My trust in the Lord was under fire and I was left in a tailspin that wanted little to do with God.
Tears shed, endless questioning and disbelief left me emotionally paralyzed on why someone I loved dearly could walk away.
Sure enough anger, sadness, betrayal, frustration arrived uninvited and set up shop in my heart. I was caught off-guard with what God was allowing to happen.
"God, I'm a good person, so why did you allow this? Why me?"
Sure, I'm a good person but by who's standards, mine or His?
In the beginning of this hardship, this movie gave me some clarity. I had been focusing on all the wrong things and asking the wrong questions. I watched some of the movie and had to walk away. And this time, I allowed a those countless messages from books, television, and others harden my heart towards those I thought were the enemy.
(When you experience heartache, you search. Search for something, anything - to fill that broken void. That's what I did. Because I wasn't ready to face reality, I was seeking answers from where I typically look first, the media, in hopes I would find "a sign." I had never googled, researched, and read SO many books than I had during that season of my life. Unfortunately, I was left with more questions than before I began my conquest to resolution...)
And after many days and tear-filled nights, I dropped to my knees with heart bursting with lies from the enemy. And I prayed.
God wasn't deliberately hurting me or found joy in my pain. He IS a God of love, salvation, mercy and forgiveness.
I had to take a step back and reevaluate my heart, and when I did, The War Room was waiting.
The War Room Movie left a resilient and new found love in my heart. The extraordinary cast would use His word as an active weapon against the enemy, because THAT IS WHO WE ARE FIGHTING, not each other.
After having watched War Room numerous times, I had several takeaways and thoughts stirring that helped transform my heart for Christ:
- A prayer journal and wall. If I'm not praying for my family, who is? Keeping a prayer journal and/or wall will track victories and keep my heart from going astray. Focus on His promises.
- Do I trust God? When I was disheartened, I sought worldly answers because I was desperately seeking comfort and peace. Do not look to things of this world. The Lord says, "For everything, there is a season." There will be tears and joy...He does make everything beautiful in it's own time. So, I will choose to trust that this is a season. I choose to become stronger from this trial and trust His faithfulness, because there is beauty in brokenness.
- "I am His before I am yours." The wife in the movie spoke this to her husband after his repentance of his past mistakes. He went on to ask her, "Why? Why would you still love and stay with me after how I treated you? And this was her response (ALLL THE HEARTS!) Isn't this how we should approach every situation? Seeking Him. Trusting Him. Loving Him before all things. Our joy cannot come from people, (media) or things because like me, you will be left discouraged. Like the woman in the movie proclaims proudly, "My joy is found in Jesus!"
Don't be discouraged, friends. Through trying times, remember to seek Him over all things. Be quick to forgive as Christ forgave us.
He HEARS you and IS working.